Artists never waste raw materials

I deposited the boys in their respective cribs (which have now been moved several feet away from one another to prevent Jonah’s bed-hopping) for naps. I could hear them having a grand old time through the monitor – laughing, talking, carrying on. After about twenty minutes I decided to go in and remind them it was time to rest.

First, there was the stench when I opened the door. It smelled like a feed lot. Then I saw Jonah grinning at me from the floor, which means he has at long last learned to escape from his crib. Then I saw he was diaper-less. Then I noticed about a dozen little brown pellets on the floor – it looked like a herd of rabbits had just passed through. Then I saw the wall, which Jonah had finger painted with his own poop. I documented this because it was completely unbelievable:

There were also a couple of pellets in Benjamin’s crib and he had also finger painted on the wall. Some of the floor pellets had been stepped on and ground into carpet. Jonah’s socks and hands were covered in poop.

I mean, really, what was going on in his brain during all this?  Didn't it smell?  "Hmmm" thought Jonah.  "Let me remove my diaper, climb out of my crib, and poop all over the floor!  How fun!  And look, the poop is squishy!  Cool!  Just the right medium for painting!  Naked painting! I feel so liberated!"   

I diapered Jonah, cleaned him up, and plopped him on the big bed. I cleaned the floor and the wall. I removed the pellets from Benjamin’s crib then climbed in to clean the wall. And it was as if I was participating in some kind of sports game because Benjamin broadcasted a play-by-play:

“You’re cleaning, Mama?

Mama cleaning Jonah’s poop.

No, Jonah, no put poop on wall.

Mama, you’re in my crib with me?

Want to play?

Let’s play, Mama, let’s play.”

Would’ve been nice if he had been doing a play-by-play when it was actually happening – I would’ve heard it through the monitor...

I called Jonathan and my ever-supportive and empathetic husband said, “I’m so glad I’m not there right now.”  (I made him take two aspirin before he saw the above photos.)

Later in the conversation he said, “Well, we knew this was coming – it’s a rite of passage.”

Rite of passage?

Are you kidding me?

Comments

[Nana]

Oh my goodness.......I'm sure this was not as funny in real life as reading your narrative! Sure glad my two "little angels" never thought of this trick :-)

[Kim @ Forever Daisies]

OMG! I'm both laughing uncontrollably, and horribly disgusted.