On our flight back to Miami last week we were able to sit in business class using some of Jonathan’s upgrades. Meaning we were able to use the first class security line, which was wonderful. Really, they should have a special security line just for people for two toddlers, what with the stroller needing special inspection, having to take 59 pairs of shoes off and on, etc. Not to mention how torturous it is to Stand.In.Line.For.Such A.Long.Time.

So while we were waiting in our blessedly short line, a man, woman, and their young daughter were whisked passed us. They looked glammy. So I figured they were Celeb enough to merit special treatment, but not wealthy enough to own their own jet.

Turns out they were on our flight, too. They boarded just before us and the flight attendant gushed that she loved his shoes. Which I thought was a bit odd. Flirting with a guy over his footwear? With his wife standing right there? When he asked for her shoe size and said he’d send her a pair, it began to click.

When the stench of Benjamin’s poop began to fill the cabin mid-flight I took him to the bathroom to change his diaper. (Jonathan was violently opposed to this, but I insisted that at age nearly-two, the boys were far too old – and smelly – to be changed in the seat, germs be damned.) We had to wait a few moments. Mrs. Glam was sitting right there with her rodent dog (Jonathan’s term for teeny tiny yappy dogs), which of course Benjamin wanted to talk to and pet. She essentially ignored us.

I used the opportunity to peer over Mr. Glam’s shoulders and checked out his paperwork. The name Donald J. Pliner appeared on the page, above several shoe design sketches. Mystery solved. I checked his website later for a picture to compare and can verify that it was actually him.

These glammy people may have whizzed past us in the security line, but they were still stuck with two squirmy toddlers near them in the airplane! Later I could see Mr. Pliner mulling over a cost/benefit analysis for private jet rentals while Benjamin was discovering how many ways he could create LOUD! NOISES! with the seat belt buckle.

Oh and I sat behind Dr. Ruth once, too… several years ago. She’s even smaller in person. And quite pleasant.