The era of No

The boys began shaking their heads to indicate “no” a few months ago. And within the last month they’ve started nodding “yes.” But now, on the cusp of turning 1 ½, they’ve begun actually saying the word “no.” And sometimes for emphasis: “no, no!”

Jonah would sometimes get frustrated (I can’t squeeze through this three inch opening! I want Puppy! Milk, milk, milk!) and begin to whine. I began asking him if he wanted help. He would nod. After a couple weeks of that, I decided it was time for him to be less passive (and - hope beyond hope - less whiney??) and be required to proactively ask for help.   We’d been working on this for a week with no progress. He will mimic just about any other word except for “help.”

Me: Uh-oh, spaghetti-oh!

Jonah: uh-oh, etti-oh

Me: Pickup truck

Jonah: uh doh

Me: Help

Jonah: No

Me: Help

Jonah: No

Me: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Jonah: suss

Me: Help

Jonah: No

So we had it out yesterday afternoon in a battle of the wills that is strictly taboo in all the better parenting books.

Jonah: Whine! Whine! Whine!

Me: Do you need help?

Jonah nods his head.

Me: Say “help.”

Jonah nods his head.

Me: Say “help.”

Jonah: No.

Me (descending into an irrational fury): Then you can lay here on the floor until you say “help.”

Jonah: Whine! Whine! Whine!

Me: With no whining!

Jonah: Whine! Whine! Whine!

Me (with a gentle and loving swat to the leg): No whining. That’s enough.

Jonah emits a quiet whimper.

Me: Can you say “help?”

Jonah: No.

We did this for half an hour. At one point I explained that - at least at this point in his life - I will win 99% of the stubbornness battles. To no avail. And then finally:

Me: Jonah, say “help.”

Jonah (with a tiny smile): Puh.

Me: That’s good! Say “help” again.

Jonah: Puh!

Me: Thank you , Jonah. You may get up now.

Jonah flees the scene of his torture.  I collapse from emotional exhaustion. This mothering thing can be so overrated. Especially when you do it badly.