Just in time for Mother’s Day, I finished reading Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box by Ann Dunnewold, provided by Parent Bloggers.

Although a little heavy on the quotes, the first four chapters were quite insightful, interesting, and sometimes – gulp - convicting. Dunnewold discusses the causes and consequences of extreme parenting as demonstrated by:

Overperfecting:

Mothers should be _____ (you fill in the blank with “always loving,” “patient,” “kind”)

Children should always come first

Parenting is fun, natural, and joyous

Overprotecting:

Children are fragile

Childhood is dangerous

You should protect your child from all negative feelings

Overproducing:

Mothers are solely responsible for children’s development

Every moment is intrinsically precious for a child’s growth

More, better, all is essential for my child’s success

In an interview, Dunnewold said “Extreme parenting is over parenting: endlessly doing more in an effort to control every minute detail of your child’s life. Underneath extreme parenting is the illusion of control – that if you can just control enough of the small details, your child’s life will turn out ‘right’ ... It is an effort, driven by anxiety and guilt ... [based on the] dysfunctional belief that mothers are almost solely responsible for the outcome of their child.”

In the last half of the book, the author suggests solutions for extreme parenting as well as how to share the solutions with other parents (including a chapter just for fathers). This part was not as helpful to me, personally, but it’s worth reading through.

I do like Dunnewold’s list of “Perfectly Good Mother Mantras” in appendix two - one of which is the title of this post!