Jonah, my insomniac son, occasionally wakes up from his nap much earlier than Benjamin, which means I have to leave off doing fun things such as blogging and organize closets instead. Because Jonah is So Helpful when one is trying to organize. (choke)

I have neglected writing about the boys’ developmental milestones for the past couple of months. I’ve neglected a lot of things in the last couple of months, including filing all the miscellaneous bills, statement, and other paperwork that floods our household. Last night I started this task, but like everything else, got interrupted and now I can barely walk in the office for all the papers strewn about. Anyway, on to the eleven month milestones…better late than never.

Cruises along furniture for balance Yes.
Walks with two hands held Yes, they are physically capable of doing this (mostly on their tip-toes), but we don’t do it often because one, our backs hurts enough as it is, and two, who wants them to learn to walk?
Pivots in sitting position Jonah is a Master Pivoter – when he first learned to crawl he would crawl-crawl-crawl, sit, pivot, crawl-crawl-crawl, sit pivot, repeat.

Picks up small block; gives toy when asked Benjamin gives anything to anyone, mostly unsolicited. With Jonah, it depends. He willingly gives something to you if he’s bored of it, but throws a bit of a tantrum if: “Jonah, hand me the small rock you’re about to put in your mouth. (taking it from his clenched fist) Thank you!”
Lifts blanket to find toy Um, perhaps in a quiet moment alone in their cribs they have done this. Really, I’m too busy dicing various steamed vegetables and cheeses to go around covering their toys with blankets.
Says two to three "words" Jonah: yes, three English words, and one caveman word which is how he says “music.” Benjamin: no. Still shrieks and squawks for him.

OK, I am just now realizing that I actually did write about their 11 month milestones already here. Note that I was most of the way through the list before I realized that…and for the most part I wrote the same things. My atrophied brain continues to shrivel.

Another example: what I did yesterday as the boys and I were coming home from a walk…. I opened the door to get the stroller through. Then I took a step back and said politely to the stroller, “Please, go ahead.”

Ahem. Let’s just keep moving on quickly before you call child services.

Twelve month milestones, even though they’re already thirteen months:

Stands alone completely Yes. But not very often for Jonah.
Squats to play Yes for Benjamin (sometimes accompanied by grunting – then we know it’s time for a diaper change), no for Jonah.
Makes steps from one object to another A few times for Benjamin, no for Jonah.
Picks up small cracker If Cheerios count, yes for both.
Grasps crayon in fist and imitates scribbling One-year-olds color?!
Says four to six "words" Jonah: 4, Benjamin: 0 (see above).
Pats pictures in books; communicates by pointing The former – yes for both. The latter – just Jonah.
Plays ball with others Now that depends on how you define “playing ball.” Maybe, kinda-sorta for Jonah. Not really for Benjamin.
Creeping-plantigrade on hands and feet Somebody define plantigrade for me. Use mono-syllabic words, please.
Hopping reaction; stagger reactions Whaaat? Hopping? I didn’t birth baby rabbits! Stagger – yes to both, especially after too much whiskey.
Rolls ball forward from a sitting position Didn’t we cover this already?
Assumes and maintains kneeling Benjamin just started this, I haven’t seen Jonah kneeling yet.
Walks with one hand held See note above on walking with two hands held. I still don’t want them to walk.
Uses neat pincer grasp-uses precise thumb and finger opposition Yes.
Crawls with coordination And how!

And speaking of the no-walking-yet, someone told me last week that the longer babies crawl the higher their reading scores are in school. At this point I expect the boys to be reading War and Peace in first grade.

* * *

Me: “What was it you said that was so funny when we were at the computer last night?”

Jonathan: “I can’t remember – why?”

Me: “I meant to write it down. I wanted to post it on my blog.”

Jonathan: “Oh good grief, do we have to be funny and say witty things all the time now?”