There were supposed to be four sheep and a cow in the nativity part of the children’s Christmas program on Sunday. The cow’s mother created a cute dress with a cow print to go with a cow-head hat. One sheep’s mother spent two weeks gluing cotton balls all over a white outfit. The other three sheep (two of which were Jonah and Benjamin) had sheepskin rugs from Ikea. We cut head-sized slits into the middle of their two rugs and the idea was they could wear them like ponchos.

Before the children began our pastor got up to say a few words of introduction. Benjamin started squawking. “Shhh,” I whispered. “Pastor David is talking.”

“PASTOR DAVID TALKING!!” yelled Benjamin.

It was time for the four sheep and cow to go onstage. I began herding. You’d think that between four sheep, we could get at least one to

1) act somewhat mellow and sheep-like and

2) hang out calmly with the shepherds

3) in proper attire.

But Harper Sheep walked up onstage, stayed for two seconds, then walked down again. And no amount of cajoling would get him up there again.

Jonah Sheep steadfastly refused to wear his poncho (Jonathan had been trying for a very stressful 15 minutes) so I laid it out on the ground next to the shepherds and sat him on top of it. Where he sat, shell-shocked, with a forlorn expression on his face, until I fetched him at the end of the program.

Benjamin Sheep wore his poncho eagerly and properly (at least after an initial declaration of ALL DONE SHEEP! before the program even started). But after a few minutes of sitting on the unused Harper Sheep’s sheep skin, he wanted to sit on the stairs and wouldn’t go anywhere else.

And Josiah Sheep refused to even put on his costume and didn’t go up at all.

The sheep and cow were involved with only part of the program – two songs, a poem, and an action rhyme. I had set my expectations quite low and we had focused on only the action rhyme the past few weeks at home. By Sunday, Jonah knew a lot of the words and all the actions and loved acting out Three Great Kings. Benjamin would act it out once or twice a day but then All Done Kings!

Ann and I led the kids in the rhyme. The angels, shepherds, Mary, Joseph, and cow participated wonderfully. Benjamin began to wander the stage, initiating conversation with the angels. Jonah looked at me – belting out the words and flailing my arms about like an asylum escapee - like I was insane. He didn’t move a muscle.

A few minutes later as the final words of the final song were sung, Julia Cow – the only animal properly dressed and behaved - raised her hand and firmly stated she had to go potty.